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This period represents a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. Back then, the concept that someone could suddenly stop communication with a romantic interest without a word seemed like the height of disrespect. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, finding a mate has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes unsuccessful exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly pigeonholed by online slang.

Generation Z, a demographic who came of age during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a coordinated assault on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their Gen Y predecessors could ever fathom. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a extensive guide to the words this generation is using to navigate love, intimacy and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most viral memes, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll ache to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Realness – In the view of gen Z, romance's gold standard is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend inspired by a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your date's reaction is interested or brushed off. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while exuding mystery and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This refers to going for someone who supports you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would fetch a seat for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A meet-up where two people bond while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Crashing out – Melting down when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or breakup, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it describes couples who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of acting aloof: embracing communication, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Signals

• Warning signs – Personal traits signaling a potential partner is trouble. Such as calling their former partners unstable, bad gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits validate your decision to date a partner. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe specific, largely harmless idiosyncrasies. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same stuff or individuals that you do (nothing creates closeness faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally postponing climax so they can continue as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and usually everyday dealbreakers that instantly extinguish any feelings of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an extremely sweet act.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some gen Z want fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance realistic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {